tugging a rhythm to the vision that's in my head [spent|and|sighing]
mer de noms

[ unmistakable | "thinking of you" ]
[ with a look in your eye | userinfo ]
[ with a look on your face | calendar ]

[26 Oct 2008|12:49am]
::blink::

I still have this thing.


And what's more, I just remembered the password. So GO ME.
1 revelation| think of me

[09 Jun 2007|04:15am]
Dear Omnipotent, Omnipresent Power-That-Be (perhaps Monsieur Mentok):




Thank you.


Sincerely,

Me.


P.S. The lady cop in the front seat looks so smug. Look at her. Is that your doing, too?
5 revelations| think of me

An open letter [07 Jun 2007|05:08pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Dear Paris Hilton:

BULLSHIT.

I've heard rumors that your "medical issues" involved you not eating the prison food. This couldn't possibly be your secret to how you're so goddamn thin, right? Just a coincidence? Isn't not eating before you drank kind of the way you got into this mess in the first place?

Although you have taught me something. If I ever wind up in jail, I just won't eat. That's a loophole of the American justice system -- if you don't eat, they HAVE to let you go! Clearly you have set a legal precedent.

Speaking of precedents, I really am intrigued by the fact that I've written this letter in the first place. Because I really could care less about you. Really. You're not even a blip on my radar. Until I checked CNN this morning and found you to be a free woman. That kind of irked me.

Hey, hope you can get out of house arrest soon. Besides the fact that the ankle bracelet clashes with everything (hey, you and Michelle Rodriguez could totally be BFF lol), I'm sure it must be such a chore to be stuck in your zillion-room mansion that you share with the three other people in your family and a bunch of servants. That must feel like prison, man.

Bitch. I want your lawyers.


Sincerely,

Me.

6 revelations| think of me

[07 May 2007|08:34pm]
Mmkay.

So, a while back the left hinge on my laptop cracked, setting it out of alignment. This didn't bother me too much; it simply meant that every once in a while, the screen would fall backwards, but overall it would still hold up on its own.

Two days ago, I opened my laptop to find that the other hinge had cracked, thus effectively rendering my laptop as a desktop-with-something-propping-the-screen-up. Eventually, this screen will snap right off, giving me little more than a very expensive hard drive.

I took the computer into PC World today, and they said that there's nothing they can do; that I would have to send it back to the manufacturer. This would take about three or four weeks to fix. But I'm also in fucking England, and the HP service centers are based in the States, so I'd need to tack on another few weeks for that.

Did I mention I'm in the middle of writing my thesis? Yeah. Kind of need the computer.


So it looks like I'm going to have to buy a new laptop. Can't wait to tell my parents about that one. Truly.
think of me

[20 Apr 2007|03:21pm]
Geeze. It's been a while.


It's also my birthday.



(good lord I'm getting old)
6 revelations| think of me

[18 Mar 2007|04:14pm]
Dear Hull/quite possibly the rest of England:

An hour ago, it was nice and sunny.

Now I'm looking out my window at 20mph winds and hail.

It's the middle of March. Get with the freaking program. What global warming?

Seriously, dude. WTF.


Sincerely,

Me.


P.S. You bitch. I was about to go to the market to get food, too. Because my fridge is tragically empty. But no. I'm not about to go out in this. Now I have to try to find a delivery number. Pfft.
5 revelations| think of me

........ [04 Mar 2007|12:27am]
My sister called me about twenty minutes ago. She's three months pregnant.

In six months, I will be an aunt.




I have no idea how I feel about this. I'm just...thrown.
2 revelations| think of me

[22 Feb 2007|12:29am]
First and foremost, an apology to everyone on my flist, because this is probably going to be an emo- and long entry.

I'm burnt out.

Pretty much since I got here, I haven't been interested in the subject of my postgraduate degree. I figured that especially since exams, I've been burnt out on the subject, but figured it to be temporary.

I'm burnt out on academia.

My intellectual curiosity is dwindling by the day, and I hate that more than I can say. Even if I haven't enjoyed school, I've always had academic curiosity; more often than not, I wouldn't study physics because I was more interested in reading about psychology, et cetera. Now, I just don't want any of it.

I'm also fairly certain that I'm depressed, though I don't really know why. I've been sleeping through the days and subsequently staying up nights, though admittedly that's been happening since sometime last November. Only now, I have no motivation to do anything.

I want to write. But I can't, don't, won't.

On top of all of this, I feel completely stagnant. I came to England with a four year plan, which has now unofficially been shot to shit, as I'm not about to do a three year PhD on a subject which no longer interests me. I have no job prospects here, nor do I have any back in the States. I feel completely lost, and I haven't the slightest idea as to even where to begin.

I used to run on the ideology that the complete opposite of what you don't want is what you want. Now I'm not so sure about that matter. Because out of what I know I don't want, I also don't want the opposite.

Maybe I just need to get out of Hull for a while. Book a hotel room in London for a few days, walk around the museums, or just walk around the city. Try to get out of my head and gain a little perspective.

But such a trip can so easily turn into one of escapism. I'm afraid that's all I'll ever really do.
2 revelations| think of me

[11 Feb 2007|11:58pm]
So, this is a little creepy.

Someone managed to get a hold of my parents' credit card information and do thousands and thousands of dollars worth of damage.

One of these charges was to pay tuition at Harvard.

While a majority of me is angry that my parents have fallen victim to credit card fraud...part of me is kind of impressed that the charges didn't just go to book vacations and buy clothes and stuff like that.
2 revelations| think of me

[05 Dec 2006|04:42am]
Maybe this isn't appropriate to post. I'm not so sure anymore.

I received an email from my sister this afternoon, telling me to call my mother. At the time, I assumed that it was for them to inform me that they'd been incommunique because the power had been out for the past few days (huge storm in the Midwest). Instead, my mother told me that her mother, my last remaining grandparent, had died that morning.

Twenty minutes after receiving the news, I sat in my friend Michelle's house, watching an episode of House, readying to go to a movie.

What bothers me is that I don't really feel anything about this. Perhaps this grandmother is a specific case, because she'd been "dead to me" (I use the term very loosely; I have always loved her) for several years. She had bad Alzheimer's, and the last Christmas she spent with our family, she knew my parents and my older brother and sister, but didn't know who I was. At that moment, I had accepted the fact that things would never be the same between the two of us.

But my grandfather on my father's side died very suddenly earlier this summer (the day of the World Cup finals, actually). This was a surprise to everyone; he was very healthy, and was expected to live much longer. Even then, I felt nothing. I didn't cry. I heard the news, went on a drive to clear my head, and accepted a friend's drink invitation to help "cheer me up" (which technically wasn't needed).

When my father's father died, and my friend asked to take me out for a drink, I pulled my ever-stoic father aside and said, "Dad, my friend has asked me to go out tonight. If you want me to stay, I'll stay." He told me to go, keep with my normal routine, etc. But then he said something strange for him. He said to me, "I hope you're not as cold as I am."

For him, his "being cold" is appropriate. He's a doctor. He's surrounded by death, and I think every doctor has to adapt to that situation. But I am very much my father's daughter, including this seeming coldness when someone I know dies. Aside from crying over my other grandfather when I was eleven, I have never cried when a friend or family member has died. It's strange to me, because I'm generally a very feeling and empathetic person. Yet when it comes to death, I feel absolutely nothing.

So my father's words came to mind again when I was at Michelle's house. I took a few minutes to myself outside, and his words played on a loop in my mind. Is this a bad thing? Why do I just switch off completely when someone dies? How can I so easily go right back to whatever I was doing after hearing such news? Am I a bad person for being this way? And why is my being cold about death such a freakish anomaly considering my "norm"?

Is it bad, or wrong, or inappropriate, or justified that I feel guilty about not feeling bad or worse about this?
3 revelations| think of me

The Five Stages of Giraffe Death [30 Nov 2006|12:18am]

I have such <3 for Robot Chicken. I really do.
2 revelations| think of me

[29 Nov 2006|02:20am]
So, I met Tim Curry on Saturday. Talked to him, shook his hand and everything.


Who wants to touch me?
15 revelations| think of me

Stupid Things Meme [20 Nov 2006|03:08pm]
I've done 66 out of 150 stupid things.

67, if you count the fact that it took me two read-throughs to realize that there's no "Level 30." Dammit. 68. There's no "Level 21" either.

You know you want to take this meme.


Stupid Things MemeCollapse )
2 revelations| think of me

Tell me everyone's seen this. [14 Nov 2006|01:53am]
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

David Hasselhoff needs to be committed.

No, really. I'm sure everyone's heard that he covered "Hooked on a Feeling" a few years back. He also made a music video, apparently under a budget of about $50. There's no other way I can explain it.

No, wait. I can. I call it "The Magic of Green Screen." And the Hoff certainly enjoyed it while making this video. Problem is, it LOOKS like a green screen.

Let's compare, shall we? Exhibit A: the video in question. Made ca. 2002. Click me! Keep in mind that I was made in 2002!

Exhibit B: A clip from a lovely little 80s movie called "The Worst Witch," in which Tim Curry sings that Anything Can Happen on Halloween, and oh, hey, have you seen his tambourine?

Both are victims of over-green-screening. But Exhibit B hails from 1986 and can therefore be forgiven, to an extent. And have I gone completely loopy, or does Exhibit B actually do a smidge better at the green screening than Exhibit A?


Verdict: The Hoff should have known better.
2 revelations| think of me

I must share this with the masses. [27 Oct 2006|09:20pm]

I just do. I'm not entirely sure why. Except that I find it extremely amusing for no good reason.

Without further ado, I present to you: "Bohemian Rhapsody" as sung by 25 of the most annoying voices in music.
2 revelations| think of me

WTF. [10 Oct 2006|05:16pm]
I really want this to be a joke. Why is this not a joke? No, really.
3 revelations| think of me

[04 Oct 2006|11:55pm]
Just click it.


While I've had many laughs at this man's website, it didn't occur to me that he was expressive. In the slightest. I mean, really.

Visit either link if you want a laugh. Or want to be a little disturbed.
think of me

[30 Sep 2006|06:46pm]
Fear not, the six people who read my journal. I am alive and well in England. But I've just gotten an internet connection. Like, two hours ago. And I've been here for two weeks.


And apparently I've lost my paid account. Hmm. expired. Suck.
5 revelations| think of me

Offline [15 Sep 2006|02:47pm]
[ mood | apprehensive ]

This is it.

I leave tomorrow morning, hop on a plane to Boston, have a six-hour layover, then have a six-hour flight to Manchester airport. I will try to be back online Sunday, school internet connection and my schedule permitting.

Wish me luck!

1 revelation| think of me

[12 Sep 2006|12:00pm]
Two reasons you should never go to a casino with me:

1) I will kick your ass at blackjack. I am ridiculously good at this game, for no real reason. It's not like inherent skill is needed for this game.

2) I am a complete killjoy. Walking by the slot machines, my friend said I should try a game. I told him that it was statistically the biggest waste of money one could put down in the entirity of the casino.

Meanwhile, I put a dollar into the slot and won $5. Which I blew on the over-priced ice cream in the lobby of the casino. But at the end of the night, I walked away with $12 more than when I'd started. Not bad.


I leave for England in four days.
5 revelations| think of me

navigation
[ focusing on | surrender ]
[ tug | thoughts ]